MK Week 13- Peace Of Mind

    Christmas is my Favorite Holiday. All the Colors, Lights, Food,                                                                                                   Abundance, Peace, and Goodwill towards All Manners of Humans. It is                                                                                   a Season of Loving, and Giving, no matter our Individual Beliefs.

This is Daybreak looking out of my kitchen, the view flowing through into my Peaceful Zone outside.  I really enjoy decorating in this manner, and you will not ever find a Santa Claus one, in any of this Marvelous Creation.

In celebrating the Real Reason for the Season, I AM would like to share with you a very Integral story of Persistence throughout her life…… which remains to this day, as you will soon discover.

            I AM but a very young, small, and innocent 5 years old. I believe everything my parents, and 3 older siblings tell me. I am curious, and filled with wonder and amazement in all things. It seems as though everyone is in a hustle and bustle lately, preparing for the return of a jolly, round bellied man in a red suit, who rides in a sleigh packed full of toys, which is pulled by 8 tiny reindeer. Wait a minute… reindeer don’t have the wings to fly.  I want to know what this Santa Claus business is all about. The house is quiet, and dark, except for the warm glow of the embers in the fireplace, and the lights on the Christmas tree, and on the porch rails outside. I am awake in the middle of the night. I hear noises on the roof outside of my bedroom window. I sneak outside, onto the deck. I see this red suited figure climbing down from the roof, he turns to look at me. It is my Father….

          I AM but 7 years old now. It is Christmas morning. The dawn is just breaking and excitement fills the air. The fire is still warm and glowing from the night before. My siblings and I are being lined up against the wall in our living room. My parents are standing in front of us. Before we can open presents, we must listen to what they are both about to impart to us. This is different from years past. There is something wrong here. I am scared….

           My parents proceed to tell us that their marriage is dissolving, and that my Father is going to very quickly make a permanent move to Hawaii, without my Mom, or any of us 4 kids…. but that we will be able to visit him every summer. In my young mind, we just got abandoned, and left behind. Immediately, My heart is Shattered and My Spirit is Broken…..  So, I’ll just hang out here in the backyard until She comes back to rescue me…

          As a very young girl, I have been taught how to live off the land, by gardening, and raising chickens,  for meat and eggs. My Father is a Geology Professor, and we have all travelled, as a family, during the summer for 6 weeks at a time, in the back of an old pickup truck, all over the Western United States, so my Father could drill for, take, and measure core samples from the Earth. We have been to a ranch in Mexico, where an old woman was making goat cheese, and we have been to the Magnificent Pyramids there as well. I’ll never forget these experiences, and vividly remember the early years of my Father bouncing me on his knee…..

What REALLY just happened here? I don’t understand…..  Why? Why would you leave us? 

 

Jump Forward 43 years, and the evidence of Persistence is Abundant in my life.  I now understand the What, and the Why. It is only after my Mom’s  passing about 7 years back, that my eldest sister revealed to me the Truth of the Why’s involved in that fateful day. He wanted to take all of us with him, but my Mom refused to go…..

Wow! I now realize that after a lifetime of resenting my Father for his decision to move forward with his own life, that my life has NOT all been wasted time, it has merely been a preparation for this Incredible day! I’ve had to go back, a few times, and forgive, and clear this channel again. Over the next few months and years, I promise to work hard to write to you about my life long struggle of climbing out of this Deep Rut…. 

 

It is almost daybreak of Christmas Eve morning. I AM has become my very best friend. For her sake, quitting is not an Option. I choose to give her Prosperity. I AM the Hero in my own life. I AM Persistent, and I AM is manifesting my DMP. One of my DMP Goals, the one that is linked to Yellow, and gives me tidings of Great Joy, is to publish my book before Christmas 2025…. Here we are, publishing, in this moment, in Living Color!

Ironically, regardless of completion year, ALL of my DMP Goals have the dates of 12/25, Christmas Day…..

         Wow! I really AM Golden!!!  I AM One of the Chosen Few!!! 

 

                      So….   I’ve now put on my Winged Shoes, and I AM Reclaiming My Life, Courageously!!! 

    One of my Gifts to myself…    

 

        During this Season of Giving, I Give to ALL of you, with Great Joy, Aliveness, and Inspiration….

The timeless Gift of My Soul…    I AM really cool Internally…. 

                                                                     

     MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Kendra Bordelon

oh my, so interesting to look back into your childhood. Something so special that only each of us hold within.
Thank you for sharing this with us. So beautiful and inspiring you are…

    Brenda Buck

    Thank You, Kendra. This was a tough one to live, let alone write… I love you all.

MasterKeyNatalieZ

My tears flow – hugs – love. Thank you. I look forward to your auto-biography – I’m glad I’m reading backward – my heart is breaking even though I know you are golden – even though I know you are whole, the moments, the hours, the days, the years that you ached – abandoned – doubting, my mother instinct – rises to comfort your innocent child. Thank you – I walk more gently and stand resolutely knowing that you suffered not because of truth but from lack of understanding. I have seen this in my life and the lives of my children and others. Shine beautiful woman – your light is important.

    Brenda Buck

    Wow! Thanks, Natalie! Here go the tears again… those Mom instincts do have a way of kicking in, it is what saved my own 4 kids from the same fate. 🙂

Juneta

Enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing and Happy New Year.
Juneta’s MKE Blog

    Brenda Buck

    Thank You for reading, and commenting! I’m glad that you enjoyed it. 🙂 Happy New Year to you as well.

Mary

OMG! This story is so familiar to me. I am learning that forgiveness is not a one-time event, or action, but an ongoing exercise. We don’t realize how many things are tied to one action, or one belief, until we begin to peel the layers off by forgiving what we can see on the surface. Good luck in your journey, and great job!

    Brenda Buck

    Thank You, Mary. Chipping off all of these layers of cement is incredibly tough. I do, however, persist until I am 100% Golden again, as my destiny is in the hands of the Master Creator. Made BY the Best, FOR the best. 🙂

raphaela rea

That’s a lot of rejection —even though a lie—-or even more so as a lie—to work through and forgive. Respect to you, Brenda, for cheering everyone else on and for being such a positive force for good! I pray for you that whatever relational situation you are “finding your self in,” you are more than a conqueror of those ghosts of the past!

    Brenda Buck

    Aww.. Thanks, Raphaela! I AM a conqueror! Through Persistence, a family reunion 3 months ago, and this Masterkey Journey, I have discovered the Strength Within to set my 7 year old self back on her course. Ironically, when I was 13, the same sister and I were sailing in Kaneohe Bay one day, and I became very seasick. She told me to just keep looking at the Horizon… I am so very Grateful for the lessons that we are learning here, and for this Alliance!

Eulaine Melanson

What an amazing story and what a woman you are because of it. I am glad you heard another side of the story from your sister which I am sure helped you to connect some missing links. You definitely learned a wealth of character building skills. My hat goes off to you. I enjoyed you being real and being open to your past and where you are now. Have a wonderful Christmas and Happy New Year.

    Brenda Buck

    Oh, Thank You! Yes, it helped tremendously to link what was missing. I AM forever Grateful. Ha! Character is my middle name! LOL I really appreciate your sincere compliment, you just made my Christmas Day! 🙂 I AM writing an autobiography. This is just the beginning of the unfoldment of the last 50 years. I know that I Can Inspire, and Help thousands of people through my stories of tragedy, and then triumph. It needs to be shared with the world. 🙂

Rick Barton

Thanks for sharing your journey through time as a five- and seven-year-old and now somewhat older (more mature) and wiser young woman. May the blessings of Christmas continue to follow you for the rest of your journey on earth. You are, indeed, golden.

    Brenda Buck

    Hi, Pops! 🙂 I just now edited jumping forward 43 years, and beyond.. please re-read. I had to put an ending to this chapter. LOL. Moving on here…. Thank You so much for your kind words, and support, it means the world to me… Christmas Blessings to you as well!!

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